When Did You Know?

When did you come to the realization your proportions were different? Was it a slow development, or a distinct moment when you knew?


When I was about eleven, my legs were somewhat bowed, and since I was skinny, it was even more noticeable. A friend of mine at the time practiced ballet, and I remember how we did a leg test, you were supposed to be able to hold a paper envelope between your knees. With my feet and heels touching, and legs relaxed, there were a number of inches of air between my knees, whereas her straight legs held the paper with ease. I was not eligible for ballet!

Around that same time some, a guy once exclaimed with disgust at my crooked, knocking-knees legs, and thus I mostly wore jeans and trousers from then on, this was my first "legs" insecurity, and I had inward facing knees as well..

When I became a teen I was quite interested in fashion, and remembered reading about Elle Macpherson 44 inch legs, and I also believed I had lengthy legs since I was very tall. There I was lying on the carpet in front of our huge floor length mirror measuring my legs, and I measured them about the same 40 ish inch length. Looking back, I know I had wrongly measured with my feet and toes pointing long and forward (adding 3 or 4 inches), and not from the heel. And so for a number of years I had unknowingly deluded myself at having supreme long legs, however they were still slightly bowed, not as much as before, but I was still slightly unsure of them.

When I reached my late teens I had a very loving and wonderful boyfriend, who happened to adore my legs, he loved that they were crooked, and exclaimed at how boring straight legs were. These were the happiest times for my legs. They were toned, and I liked the length, and shape, and everything about them. (Most tops were shortish on me but I cleared it as just being tall.)

When my teenage years ended, I began to discover that my legs were not long, but slightly short for my height. There was no distinct moment, but a collection of happenings that brought it all about. I don't recall the the chronological order but here goes:

• My beloved brother, not being particularly beloved hinting at my having short legs.
• My hubby, telling me my proportions were slightly different.
• My having a baby, and the OBGYN, telling me I had a "nice long torso" with lots of room for the baby, and that being the reason why my belly never got very big. And how she (the doctor), with her petite frame and small torso had had a massive belly with her baby.
• Being told by a chiropractor I had a long torso, and a flat back. Double bad, and the reason behind my flat ass.
• Being measured by a pattern maker who calculated I had arms and torso longer then normal (I think she said by an inch or so) which explained how most sleeves were too short on me as well.
• Seeing my cousin for the first time in many years, and being shocked at how long her torso was, and coming to the conclusion that this was perhaps genetic. However my mother has long legs, so it all came from my fathers side.

Once I came to the realization I had these particular proportions, I was depressed and became obsessive at trying to hide them. I would stare at my self in the mirror with disgust. When it came to clothes all I cared about was whether I looked long torsoed or not, I did not care for pattern or color, or style. It was at this time I began this blog, because had I ravaged the internet trying to find info about this issue, and found so little that I decided to create my own. And the blog has attracted many more readers then I ever expected, and has been a healing process for me, I am no longer unhappy about my proportions, and I discovered they are not as extreem as I believed.


Would love to hear your stories.